I don't think I can say it out loud! But I agreed to do it, so here goes... "I love... a guy." ... nothing. He looked a bit dumbfounded. "Errr... All right?"
"He's in our school." Why am I so embarassed? He already said he loved me, what am I afraid of? "He hasn't blond hair nor blue eyes." Maybe because I can't believe him.
"Hey, Kim..." I looked at him. "Calm down and breathe... You look like you're about to have a heart attack."
I did as he told me. It seemed to work, so I continued... "Actually, he's somewhat of an idiot." He smothered a chuckle. Only if he knew it was him... I smiled. This was becoming really entertaing! Time for some jealousy. "Even so, he's very smart. He's one of the best students in his class." He twitched an eyebrow. "And he isn't only brains, he has the looks too."
"Well, why don't you skip all the compliments to your Prince Charming and give me a name..." He said infuriated. "Maybe I can take care of his «looks»!"
"Stop it!" I was trying so hard not to laugh. "If you keep saying that I won't tell you anything!"
He shut up.
"Thank you... I'll continue, but it will be the way I want to. Where was I? Oh! I know. He's so beautiful... What I love more about him is his eyes. Its colour is so unusual but still so magnetic! He looks at you in such an intense way that it seems that looks right through you..."
He was so flushed and hurt that he looked miserable but still he didn't say a word. I was going to end this.
"Even being like this, he's not arrogant. He's the kindest and cutest person I know... Maybe that's why he's so popular." I gathered all my courage to say it. I wasn't afraid anymore: he was my friend, respected me and, above of all, he loved me.
"He doesn't need blond hair... His light brown hair is enough." I looked directly to him.
"He doesn't care about blue eyes... His gold ones stand out more." I stood up in put myself in front of him.
"He may be a jerk sometimes... But he's my best friend." I smiled at his surprise.
"He is the one I love." I ended closing the small space between us with a soft kiss.
I can't believe myself. I did it!
"I love you."
Jeff stared at me... He was so quiet that I thought he was going to end up in a coma again but he finally spoke. "You love me?" Then he flashed the biggest grin I've ever seen. "I was so worried that you'd say you loved any other guy... I thought I wouldn't bear with it! Seriously, I was about to storm out of the hospital and look everywhere for the guy just to punch him to death..." He then hugged me (the best he could, because of his broken arm). "Thanks. For everything..." He said this last words not louder than a whisper. I closed my eyes enjoying his warm embrace and we stood there for what seemed like hours.
Then I heard an annoying sound.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--
What was this?
--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--
I opened my eyes and saw the worst cenario ever. Jeff was lying in a bed in front of me and that sound was warning me that his heart had stopped.
--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--
"DAD!!" I screamed as loud as I could. "NURSE! Someone please HELP ME!"
I couldn't believe it! I was having a dream... All of it. Jeff never woke up.
--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--
He never knew how I felt about him. I let the tears flow freely from my eyes as my father and other doctors entered the room. There was so much noise. I didn't know how, but I already knew he wasn't going to make it. I just knew it...
They stopped everything and said the only thing I didn't want to hear. "Jeffrey Anderson: time of death 4:27 a.m.."
--eeeeeeeeeeeee-p
The nurse turned the machine off.
My whole body was shaking. A while ago I was with him... Nothing seemed to have changed.
I looked at my father. He was saying something... I couldn't hear him, or I didn't want to... I don't know.
I left the room and run outside. I went against some people along the way because my vision was all blurry. I mumbled some kind of «Sorry.» and continued not even caring if the person was okay... I wasn't.
I got outside and stared at the road. There were already lots of vehicles speeding, not realizing that many of them can cause accidents... They just care about their own lives. Jeff wasn't like that. I started to move in their direction.
Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back. It was my father.
"Kim! Please don't do that. Don't do anything stupid!" He was crying. I stayed there motionless, just staring. "I know how much it hurts..." He said, now looking at me. "To lose someone we love." It was as painful as stabbing my heart with knives, so I cried. I couldn't stop.
My father cried too. "I know how you feel, sweetheart. I already lost your mother and I don't want to lose you." My crying intensified. "That's why I want you to promise me that you won't do anything reckless... Anything that will make me repent for letting go of you."
"I promise." I said between loud sobs.
And I stood there with the last important person in my life until we both stop crying. Whether it was for old painful memories, brand new heartbreaking memories or future wrecking memories, I didn't know. Neither of us knew.
I only knew I had to survive through my only lover's death and I had a new promise to fulfil.
I promised that I wouldn't kill myself...
I don't care much because I will die.
However, I don't have to live.
I never promised that.
The (alternative) End
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