WAITING

Lua Nova, 22 de Junho de 2009

- ...
What time is it? The sun hasn't risen yet.
...
05:00 A.M.?!!
"How did I manage to wake up so early?... Ah! I remember... It's today. It's the day they decided to forget everything, cut all bonds and walking forward to a new beginning... Even though they don't like it very much. They just see it as a way to accomplish their purpose."
- Granny!! I'm going out...

- Errr... Oh! All right, but be back at lunch time.

"Poor grandma... She also misses them, but she keeps pretending not to."
- Hey, Den!! Want to come?
"You miss them to right? We all used to play together when we were children and after twelve years they decided to go without knowing how much they worry us... Those idiots! Thinking of them always ends up me washed in tears..."
- Oh?! Den, stop with that! Ah ah ah!!! OK, I won't cry, so stop licking my cheeks... That's it good boy! I know you don't want me to be sad, but still... It's difficult. Oh look! We're here.
"The ruins of their house are the only thing they left back... In order to leave the past behind them, they burn everything and kept going..."
- Ahhh, Den... I'm so helpless! Even while I'm pitying them and worrying, they're probably getting into a fight without thinking what will happen.
"All I do is cry, worry and wait for them. I can't help them like this... I'm only of any help when they return to say «Winry could you fix this for me?». Fix? His arm is always busted out... If I didn't know that they would come like that, I wouldn't wait like this..."
- ...
Wait! That's it!! While I wait for them I'm helping them... Errr. Den, why're you pulling me? Oops! I forgot the time... Thanks Den! Let's get going...
"I hadn't realized that yet... Even though they said they didn't want to come back, they keep coming when they need help... They head right to Grandma's house. They know that we'll be there hoping that one day they'll come to stay... They know that we won't give up waiting for them.
If that's the case... Then I won't cry anymore... I'll do my best to work on Ed's automail and take care of Al's armor, so that they can see that can rely on what has rest of their "family" and I'll be always here waiting for them."
- We'll be here, right Den? Granny, me and you waiting for those reckless idiots!
We'll be waiting for Edward and Alphonse!
"I'll be waiting Ed."

THE END

Lua Nova, 26 de Maio de 2009

I'm sick of this... Sick and tired of this life.
Every each day is embraced in the darkness that lies within me... The darkness that is deep inside my soul.
I've moved away everyone with the hatred, anger, sadness and pain that started consuming my spirit. I start hating everything around me, friends and family, and end up hating myself!
At school everybody gave up on me long ago... Even now, when I draw a little smile, they don't believe it... Some smile back, just for politeness, but I can see in their eyes that they despise me. They see in me nothing but a hollow shell - a person that threw away her feelings.
I really can't blame them... All my reactions when they asked if I was all right, or when they dared to help me, were condemnable. I know that but... If they were me... If they lived my life... If they knew what was going on, they would understand me!
At home is always this horrible feeling... Discussions every single day over the smallest things... That makes my will to answer them almost unbearable but I have to gather the strength to keep it inside me, in order to not instigate them... Or things would end up worse, as I've came to learn in all these years.
That anger I keep inside is what makes my hatred grow... And it's my fault to let that anger come out on the wrong person... But I can't handle this anymore! All of this has shattered my heart, so much that there isn't a single bit left over...
The only place where I can forget the present is here... My room. I'm surrounded by things that I bought or were offered in parties, when I still had friends and my family was united... They remember me times when I was happy...
However, the only similarity between my past and present is my hobby: stare out my window and watch people outside! As I live in the 6th floor, I have a wide panoramic view... I sit by the window, open it and the sounds, the wind, the sunlight, the moonlight and the rain... All comes in... Everything it's so clear in those moments, it's like all these things could purify the darkness that is inside me! Some people used to look at me, probably thinking "Is she crazy? How can she be with the window open while is raining this much?"
This place has always been the beginning of a "new" me... After the silent crying, that I hide behind the "brave girl" mask, I always closed myself in the room and then let the painful tears come out in the only place I felt safe. Then the rain would wash away my tears and made me try to live this life again.
But now I'm tired of these "second chances"! They always end up in the same way... The pain of loneliness becomes worse every time I try to start again... So that's it! This is my limit...
This time I won't sit by the window. I will stand up in front of it!
This time I won't open the window. I will break it!
This time I won't let anything come in. I will be the one who will step out!
The place where my life had always begun will be the place where it will finish...
This time I will be free... This time it will be the end!

RAZÃO DE SER

Lua Nova, 25 de Abril de 2009

Todos os dias acordo e sinto que não tenho algo por que viver... Uma razão para a minha existência!
Vivo cada dia tentando fazer o que acho que devo, mas dentro de mim não existe qualquer vontade de o fazer... Por detrás de cada sorriso, sinto uma dor enorme... Cada palavra, vem do vazio... É como se não fosse nada.
A única coisa que me faz acordar deste sono profundo é ajudar alguém... Parece que, afinal, sempre tenho um propósito para viver: pessoas que precisam de mim.
No entanto, será que sinto isso porque preciso do mesmo? Preciso de que alguém me salve... Alguém que se preocupe comigo. De que alguém que me conheça...
Mas haverá alguém capaz disso? Afinal, eu não sou uma pessoa que mostra o que realmente é, nem o que sente...
Ninguém me conhece verdadeiramente...
Não há nem nunca haverá alguém que o consiga fazer...
Então... Porque é que continuo à espera desse "alguém"?

FAREWELL - One Last Goodbye, Until We Meet Once Again

Charles entered in the library quietly and stood still, close to the door, watching her. She was on the ground staring to the corpses. Her eyes were lost in tears and painful memories. He could imagine what was passing through her mind: her last moments, her parents being killed right in front of her eyes and looking for her body under the other two. However she hadn't courage enough to do that because that would mean that she was dead... Alone in a world where she doesn't belong to.
While watching her, he remembered the conversation with his boss:
"... Half a century ago a well-off family lived there until they were assaulted by burglars which killed the whole family. Later, they were captured and confessed everything: they make the family hand their money and valuable things, and then they killed every member. The first one was Mr. Keaton, then his wife and the last one was their daughter, Allyson. She saw the slaughter and then was killed too. Unlike her parents she didn't scream nor did anything else. The only thing they heard was "Charles" but they were almost certain that she was already dead. And before leaving one of them swore he had seen a white shadow wandering across the hall...
That's why you have to send the ghost to other place... To the light if you want.”
- Charles? - Allyson called.
That voice woke him up from his thoughts.
- Do you mind to show me my... body? - she continued.
That last word was spelled like a whisper.
- Of course.
So he went to the place where they were. He moved her parents' corpses aside and uncovered hers, with her clothes tainted in dry blood.
- Thank you, Charles. That's it. It's the only thing I need to convince myself that I was really dead, now I can't find any excuses for this...
- I really need you to understand that this wasn't your fault... They died trying to protect you because they loved you... You don't belong here anymore. - Charles explained - You have to leave... To cross over.
- It wasn't guilt that kept me here...
Charles got confused.
- Was it revenge? Hatred? - He asked, trying to understand.
It was nothing like that. She stood up and stayed face to face with Charles.
- I'm so sorry for fighting so hard against what you asked of me... It is just that I spend so time trying to forget that horrible day that I created a whole new life. And now I want to ask you to help me to cross over... Please?
Her face was so calm and innocent, that the only thing he could do was step forward and held her in his arms.
- It's all going to be all right... Don't fear. I will help you, if that's what you really want...
She starts crying again. Not tears of sadness... but of joy. It's just like her dream. That was what kept her behind... Her only bond to this world was him: she stayed there waiting for him. Her love...
Then she held him too and looked right to him... That pale skin with dark hair and eyes and wearing black made him look just like a god of death... But to her he was the most beautiful angel she had ever seen.
After this a white light embrace them... He opened his eyes and saw Allyson shining and fading away: she was finally crossing over. Besides his mind being happy for that, his heart only told him his selfish desire: keep her with him.
- Thank you for everything, Charles. - she started. - You finally made me realise what I needed to cross over: you! You were always in my dreams and that made me stay here... waiting for you... Hoping for you to come here.
He couldn't say a word. So, Allyson continued.
- That's why I have to thank you. The feeling that made me still here was love... love for you.
Now, I know that... And I can feel that you have the same feelings for me... That's why I have to leave. But I'll be here waiting for you. Goodbye...
Charles watched her soul fading away while shedding a tear. After that, the light disappeared and everything became aged and, somewhat, ruined.
He wanted to say "I love you too, Allyson! I'm the one who should be thanking you for allow me to meet you...". However, the only thing he said was:
- Goodbye! I'm looking forward to our next meeting...
And so, he left the house while the rain, that had started, washed the blood of Allyson's corpse and clothes, leaving them as an untouched treasure... At least, that was what looked like to him.

FAREWELL - The Truth

Allyson was terrified. After all, her parents were at home. The only problem was that they were both...
"Dead. This is impossible... They can't be..."
She couldn't think another thing besides that picture engraved in her mind. She enters the room and finds them on the floor, covered in blood. That moment she remembers everything... Her nightmares were real! All that had happened.
"One night, some men forced the lock in the front door, then father try to stop them... but they were five, so he couldn't do it. I started climbing the stairs, and locked myself in my room, but that didn't stop them. They broke the door and entered... Two men grabbed me and take me downstairs again. They have destroyed everything in the house.
When we arrived to the library, they threatened my father « If you don't give me all the money that is in this house, I'll kill this young beautiful daughter of yours, right in front of you... And don't forget that the one to blame if she died would be you. »
So my father gather the money and all the things that were of value and gave that to them. Then they let go of me and put me together my parents... We couldn't stop crying and praying for our lives... But that didn't stop them. The aim their guns to each one of us... When they shot my father stood in front of me... and my mother did the exact same thing: they both tried to protect me, but I couldn't run... I couldn't move... I didn't even breathe... All I could do was watch the blood being shed... That moment I heard another shot which make me notice that I was also covered in blood. But it wasn't only my father's and mother's... It was also my blood.
Now I could see it clearly: my nightmares were showing me the night I had died!"
All these thoughts overflow her with pain, sadness and loneliness, in such way that she gave up and fell right to the ground without stop crying.

FAREWELL - Discovery

They both stayed still. She tried to dry her tears and waited for him to say something. However, he stood quiet as he thought what would be the best way to explain the situation to her.
- Allyson, - he started - I understand that you don't know what's happening... And my mission is to explain it to you but you have to cooperate with me.
- Cooperate?...
- Yes. You have to believe in me.
Allyson was already scared when the conversation started but she tried to pull herself together, and now...
- Sorry Mr. Anderson, but I have to ask you to leave my house.
That was her limit.
"I didn't want to go this far but I'll have to shock her... If what my boss told me is right, no one has ever got close to both her parents bodies."
- I'm sorry too, Allyson, but you'll have to listen to me: tell me where your parents are at the moment?
She didn't know. She thought that they had gone to the church but she wasn't sure. How could she know if she was alone in the mansion?
- Have you ever considered that they could still be inside your house?
Her thoughts were so confused with these strange questions.
"No, I haven't... I was almost sure that they had already left that I haven't thought about that option... But they couldn't be at home. If they were, they would have answered her earlier... But still..."
That moment her only reaction was leave the room, that immediately aged, and look for her parents around the house. So, she headed for the library, where they used to spend hours together... The family's favourite room.
Charles was left alone in the hall, thinking how she would react...
"From all of my experience, I never could predict the reaction of a..."
Suddenly all the house is filled with the sound of a dreadful and painful scream. There's no doubt about it... She found them.

FAREWELL - The Beginning

He notices that someone, or something, is coming...
"I have to be careful from now on..."
- Who is it?
"It's a female voice and it seems young, so it must be the daughter..."
- Is someone there?
- Yes, I'm sorry. Are you Miss Allyson Keaton?
- Yes...
- Do you mind to open the door, please?
- Of course, just a moment.
He patiently waited while she looked for the key.
Allyson was tired of looking for the key but it seems to have disappeared... It was supposed to be in the first drawer but she couldn't find it anywhere.
Suddenly she finds it under the carpet and then goes open the door but she realizes that the door was unlocked.
"Why is it unlocked? It seems like someone has forced the enter..."
Even so she opens the door and sees him with his back turned to her.
- Sorry, I kept you waiting. May I know your name, gentleman?
Slowly, he turns while answering:
- Charles Anderson.
When Allyson watches his face only one thought comes to her mind.
"It's him. He is the one who appears during my sleep..."
At the exact same time, Charles was thinking how beautiful she was. Her blond hair and blue eyes remind him an angel.
"Is a shame that she never had found her true love..."
He entered the house and waited for her question.
- Mr. Anderson... If you don't mind the question... What are you doing here?
"As I expected..."
- Call me Charles. May I call you Allyson?
- I think so...
- Ok, Allyson. I'm not going to lie... I was sent here to warn you: you should leave.
Her immediat response was shock.
"What?"
This last sentence let Allyson terrified. That wasn't right. In her dreams he appeared to save her and now he was scaring her. This wasn't right... He couldn't be like this!
- I... I don't understand! This is my home... I live here with my parents! How am I supposed to leave? Why do I have to leave?...
Tears start flowing from her eyes. She couldn't stop them. Allyson feels like she had fallen to an abyss which had no end.
An awful feeling of guilt was filling his heart. Charles was feeling like he was shattered by that crying.
"Poor girl. I wish I could stop that tears... I wish I didn't have to make her suffer anymore..."
However this was just the beginning of all the pain Allyson would get through.

FAREWELL - Nightmares

She is awake. After another night without sleeping she could rest a bit.

“What time is it? Where is everybody?”

- Mom? Dad? Mrs. Charlotte? Is anybody home?

“Maybe they went off to the church… What will I do now?”

She starts wandering around the room. Without any idea what she could do, she returns to bed.

“I’ll try to get some sleep, this way mom and dad won’t worry…

But I can’t help it! Every time I start sleeping the nightmares return… The loud noises, things being broken, the crying, everything turning red, embraced by darkness, and then… then he appears. He is so beautiful… That moment he holds me tight and says that everything is all right… I feel so safe in his arms, that I can’t help myself but believe him. From that instant, all I can see is the light around us and him…”

Someone is knocking on the door. She gets up and quickly dresses up and leaves the room to answer the door…

While she leaves her room the ceiling disappears, the walls become aged and the windows break. Then, without her notice, she leaves a trace of blood across the room where she walked through…

FAREWELL - Arrival

Lua Nova, 26 de Fevereiro de 2009

He is walking down the road and reading the address that is boss had given to him: 13th Life Street.

"So this is where I have to go..."

It is Sunday... Almost nine o'clock and people are already running from a place to another. However it's easy to find him among all people. He is unbelievable beautiful with pale skin, dark hair, dark eyes and wearing a formal black suit.

Lots of people look at him, dazzled with such beautiful man.

While walking he only thinks about what his boss told him the day before.

“You have to go to that place. We’re sick and tired of receiving the same letters of complaints about an amazing house…

So, I don’t see what the problem is until now. Don’t you know what my job is?

Of course I know… That’s why I called you. Every single person that tried to visit or rebuild the house suffered very weird accidents… And some died!

…

Half a century ago a well-off family lived there until…”

His thoughts were interrupted by a dog that ran into him. Anyway he had already arrived.

- It really is an amazing house… Well, let’s get to work!

WHY?

Lua Nova, 24 de Fevereiro de 2009

Why? Tell me why do I have to suffer for the sake of someone that doesn't care for me... Even knowing that I'm the only person in the whole world that can help her to achieve what she wants, she doesn't even bother to look at me and ask me how I am... This hurts so much.
Hurt... Does she even dream that I'm this hurt? That I feel this pain inside? That I can feel? Or am I just an object? Yes... To her I am nothing but an object, a tool that she still needs. That's the reason why she lets me stay here.
Half of me hates her. Hates her because she doesn't care about me... Because she doesn't want me... Because she doesn't acknowledge my existence!
The other half hates me because I hate her... That's the part which loves her... The part which cares about her... Which wants her by my side... Which would die for her...
Although she despises me, I still yearn for her love... I wouldn't even mind if, when she meets me, she would only bothers to say "Hi!"... That would mean that she knew that I existed.
And again... Why do I care? It's not like she has ever been nice to me since I was born. It's not like she has once tried to get to know me. No. But why? Why does she hate me that much? Tell me why do you hate me? Tell me, Mother...